Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Short Doors

TF, "You have got to be kidding me!"
BF unapologetically, "Sorry Cupcake (BFʼs nickname for me). The doors are too short. "
TF, "But I measured and measured and measured!!!"
BF, "Theyʼre still too short."

When selecting the new doors for the kitchen pantry and laundry closet, I knew I didnʼt want bifold or accordion doors. I wanted the new doors to look sleek and modern while being practical. Traditional doors would take up too much space when opened in the oddly designed kitchen.

I would have loved to order sliding doors from Loweʼs or Home Depot, but IKEAʼs prices canʼt be beat. I measured the space over and over and over again. I consulted IKEAʼs website over and over and over again. I even forced BF to measure the space himself before making the final decision. I traveled to Orlando and brought home two pairs of Pax Lyndgal sliding doors.

BF had experience in assembling these doors. Theyʼre the same doors featured in our master bedroom Pax wardrobes. BF guided me on how to quickly assemble the first door. Before he knew it, I assembled all four doors. This is a BIG deal since Iʼm challenged with written and diagram instructions.

Then came the hour when BF hung the first door. NOOO!!! How was this possible? How could the doors be too short? I was already frustrated with our Christmas sewage problems and now the doors are too short?

I couldnʼt return the doors because IKEAʼs policy states returned items must be UNopened. My thoughts turned to selling the doors on Craigslist. My stomach turned at the thought of losing money, especially since I had to drive to Orlando to buy the doors.

BF quickly sensed my frustration and disappointment. He promised he could make it work.  In order to hang the doors at a lower level, he added a couple of boards.  I was almost in tears when he summoned me to look at his handiwork.

Friday, January 4, 2013


BF, "When you hear 12:00 a.m., what does that mean?"
TF, "What do you mean?"
BF, "12:00 a.m. Does that mean 12:00 a.m. in the morning or 12:00 p.m. in the afternoon?"
TF, "12:00 am in the morning, right?"
BF, "Thatʼs what I think too."

BF determined a bubble in the toilet water meant we had plumbing issues. At 9:30 p.m. he filed an online complaint on JEAʼs website. JEA quickly replied saying they would respond before “12:00 a.m.”
We both assumed the “a.m.” was a typo. We figured a JEA technician would arrive at our house before 12:00 p.m. the next day. We were wrong.
BF fell asleep before I did. I stayed awake to watch the New England Patriots try their best to beat the San Francisco 49ers. As I drifted to an uneasy sleep, I heard a loud “KNOCK - KNOCK - KNOCK” on the front door.

If thereʼs a positive comment I can write about JEA, itʼs that they respond quickly. It was nearly 11:00 p.m. when the JEA technician arrived. I quickly elbowed BF to wake up and loudly said, “Thereʼs someone at the door.”

Next thing we knew, there were three JEA trucks parked outside the house. Not only were there bright yellow flashing lights, the three technicians were forced to yell down the street to hear each other over the noisy equipment. Yikes, I hope they didnʼt wake the neighbors.

We now know there isnʼt a 12:00 am. Thereʼs 12:00 MIDNIGHT and 12:00 NOON. We also know JEA will respond within the time frame they issue.

Jig Brilliance

TF,  "Will you install the kitchen cabinet door handles this weekend?"
BF, "Yup.  Looks like I need to create a jig."
TF, "A jig? Why would you need to use a jig? I didnʼt think you need to worry about right angles."
BF, "Iʼll show you."
When installing multiple door handles, I figured using a level was the most important tool.  I was wrong.  BF nailed leftover wood pieces to create a new jig. After watching him clamp the jig onto the doors, I understood.

The jig creates a perfect template. The jig lines up in the same position on every cabinet. Now I donʼt have to worry about the door handles being crooked.

BF, "Now, do you see the brilliance of the jig?!?!?
TF, "Yeah, yeah. I see its brilliance."
BF, "Come on! Itʼs pretty cool."
TF, "Yeah, yeah."
BF, "Boom! Look at that! Itʼs EVEN sexy!"

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Orange Cones are a Good Sign

A few months ago, we experienced plumbing issues with the Stinky Black Hole...
TF, "Uh, the toilet just made a noise. "
BF, "What kind of noise?"
TF, "There was a big bubble."
BF, "Turn off the washing machine! Oh crap."

BF walked around the perimeter of the house and assessed we had another sewage issue. This was a week before Christmas. We planned to host our families at our house. We had plans!

After FIVE separate JEA house calls, an extremely unpleasant Loweʼs return transaction, a replaced pump, a weekʼs worth of water rations, smelly sewage gas odors and an attorney consultation consideration, our sewage issue was resolved.

BF researched multiple reports featuring permits, codes, inspections and measurements. Weʼre not naming any names, but there was sketchy work at hand. The most important measurement learned was the 20ʼ easement right.

The 20ʼ easement right meant the issue wasnʼt our problem anymore. 
BF discovered JEAʼs service manholes were located within the 20 ft. easement in our front yard and his work was done. 

Three days after Christmas, five JEA trucks appeared on our street. FIVE trucks! One had a large back-hoe tractor sitting on its truck bed. I canʼt imagine what our neighbors were thinking as they slowly drove past the large utility trucks.

I never thought Iʼd become excited to see orange cones across the street. Orange cones meant something was going to be done!

I never thought Iʼd laugh at the sight of four men huddled around a dirt hole. The phrase, “how many guys does it take...” played in my head.

BF and I left the house to run some errands. When we returned, the JEA guys finished fixing the sewage problems.