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Thursday, February 9, 2012

Three-Way Lowe's Conversation


BF, “I need you to go to Lowe’s for me.”
TMF, “Are you sure you want me to go to Lowe's for you?”
BF, “I’ll give you a list.”
TMF, “Um, okay.”

The list consisted of contractor’s bags, electrical tape and a spigot for an outside leaky pipe. I think Lowe’s employees can spot a helpless shopper from across the store.  I hate to call myself a damsel in distress, but I honestly have no idea what I’m looking for.

I wandered around the plumbing department until I found what I think attaches to a garden hose.  Then I took a step back.  Whoa, too many choices. 

Thankfully a Lowe’s employee came to my rescue.

Lowe’s Guy, “What kind of valve do you need?”
TMF, “Uh…Is a valve the same thing as a spigot?” 
I can’t imagine what the Lowe’s Guy is thinking in his head,
“Yes ma’am, it is.  What size do you need?”
TMF, “Um...Can you hold on a second?”

I call BF on his cell phone.   
TMF, “What size valve do we need?”
BF, “3/4 inch.”
TMF to Lowe’s Guy, “3/4 inch.”

Lowe’s Guy to TMF, “What material?  Brass, bronze, copper, nickel…?
TMF to BF, “What material?  Brass, bronze, chrome, nickel…?”

At this point I considered handing my phone to the Lowe’s Guy, but I felt it might have been awkward for both of them.  I wonder how many three-way conversations the Lowe’s Guy has experienced.

BF to TMF, “Whichever one is cheapest.”
TMF to Lowe’s Guy, “Whichever one is cheapest.”

Lowe’s Guy to TMF, “Do you want a hand wheel, quarter-turn, T-handle?”
TMF to Lowe’s Guy, “Really?”
TMF to BF, “Do you want a hand wheel, quarter-turn, T-handle?”

BF to TMF, “Whichever one is cheapest.”
TMF to Lowe’s Guy, “Whichever one is cheapest.”

The Lowe's Guy grabs a 3/4 inch brass, t-handle valve from a box directly in front of me.  I feel as if I finished a marathon as I make my way to the registers.







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